My Advice To Humanity: Cut It Out.

As a blogger, it is impossible for me to NOT pay attention to all aspects of culture, yet doing so, more often that not, tends to put me in a bit of a mood.  I lose faith not only in the mouth-breathers who seem to profit from their own idiocy and blind ambition, but also in my fellow man who stands there gazing at each train wreck that happens down the pike.

Having lived, and driven in cities like Los Angeles and Chicago, I am no stranger to seeing my fellow man halt traffic for hours just to gaze at someone whose radiator has overheated.  There’s just nothing better than getting an early start and still being late for an appointment because people just had to take a long, meandering gander at a truck stalled in the median.

When I am unable to see the cause of each episode of rubber-necking, I actually find myself muttering such things as, “There better be a huge, mother-bleeping twenty-car pile-up with multiple fatalities up there.”

To bring this back around to my initial point, it seems that every time we turn on the TV, or cruise around the internet, the only subjects that successfully get our attention are those that capitalize on our inherent need as humans to “rubber-neck”.  As a result, my grandmother knows just as much about the Lohan family’s dirty laundry as that of her own family, and my young nephew has taken to running around the house without a shirt on, calling himself “The Situation”.

Okay, so here’s my advice to humanity:

Cut it out.

Seriously, it’s embarrassing.  The next time you see a train wreck, whether it be in real-life or on TV, ignore it.  That’s right, pretend it isn’t even there.  I mean, what are you actually hoping to see that you haven’t already seen a million times before?  Do you get off on human sadness, the site of someone’s bone sticking through their skin, or watching a celebrity embarrass themselves?  If so, congratulations, you’re part of the problem.  If not, though, then, like I said before, cut it out.

You’re better than that.

______________________________

Darren Robbins is a fellow graduate of the “Almost Famous” University, a gifted songwriter, raconteur and lovable curmudgeon.  When you’re not reading him here, check out his terrifc blog… HE’S A WHORE…check out his new STORE as well.