I realize that a lot of girls out there today are suffering from Biebermania, for which there is currently no known cure. One of the recent side effects of this dreadful disease is violent Wiki-altering mood swings brought on by someone other than Justin Bieber winning the Grammy for Best New Artist.
Jeebus, who’s responsible for these zygotes growing up to be such blithering muldoons? Is it the parents, the internet, or is it just something innately deficient in their generational DNA? I dunno…you decide!
An incredibly deranged man named Herbert LeRoux is holding the world hostage. He’s got a hold of the doomsday bomb and he WILL use it. In order to stave off total nuclear annihilation, you must particpate in a twisted game of his creation. You will be given two unspeakably horrible options – you must choose one. If you fail to do so, eveyone you know will die a horrible death and Herbert will kick you in the shins and never speak to you again.
“It’s as essential to the movie-going experience as popcorn or a pre-show BM.”
Sandy Kenyon is the best movie reviewer in history. He’s on TaxiTV, which you probably watch in the back of cabs when you’re drunk.
Okay, none of this really happened. I don’t work in an office with other people, I work by myself as a superhero…guardian of justice, if you will…and was simply doin what we in the funny papers call “riffing”.
Sandy Kenyon is the best movie reviewer in history. He’s on TaxiTV, which you probably watch in the back of cabs when you’re drunk.
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