As a blogger, it is impossible for me to NOT pay attention to all aspects of culture, yet doing so, more often that not, tends to put me in a bit of a mood. I lose faith not only in the mouth-breathers who seem to profit from their own idiocy and blind ambition, but also [...]
Oh, to be an American. It used to be that the rest of the world idolized we Americans. When Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, America didn’t just sit glued to their radios and television screens, the entire world hung on every groundbreaking moment. America was the innovator of all innovators, whether it be automobiles, [...]
Come on, you remember recess, right? That was the two or three times per day in elementary school when we all got to run around like lunatics, dangle from the monkey bars, play dodge ball, or rock the teeter-totter with that cute little guy or gal we had a crush on.
I have lied. Many times. I try not to lie these days, but it’s impossible. When a woman asks you how her tush looks in a particular pair of slacks, so you take one look and immediately want to make love to her right then and there, you can’t always say so (especially if you’re wife is standing nearby). The flip side of the same coin is that these particular slacks do not particularly complement this particular tush and yet you do not wish to shatter the hopeful smile staring back at you.
Try this brief tale of the hardships of battle on for size, courtesy of the fevered brain of Mr. Stephen B. Mahler.
When you’re closer to the ground, you feel more. When you get older, you lose that connection to the world around you. According to this logic, dwarves and midgets probably feel more. They get to commune with the salamanders and toads, while we get to be neurotic and ambivalent.
I’ll bet little people make great lovers.
In my 30s, all belief has faded into hardnosed, dispassionate, black and white existenz. I spent a bunch of years coming to terms and closing doors. Now I live alone in the attic of my noggin – the smallest room in the life of the mind. It took a while to get here, to this precise moment…but here I am.
When you think about it, other than religion, penis anxiety has probably caused more bitterness, rage, violence and tragedy than any other factor since the dawn of man. I mean, you just know that Hitler had a small penis. It’s historical fact that he only had one ball.
Check out this terrifically eerie short story by the mysterious “Anonymous”…
Recently I received an e-mail from a friend of mine who asked me to help out with her new online dating profile. I readily accepted the challenge and offered up a pithy little bio highlighting her glorious attributes, infusing the prose with just a delicate hint of implied sauciness
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