Fake Sandy Kenyon reviews…Etch-a-Sketch

For when you want to make sucky drawings you can’t print or save.”

You’re never too old for recess!

Come on, you remember recess, right? That was the two or three times per day in elementary school when we all got to run around like lunatics, dangle from the monkey bars, play dodge ball, or rock the teeter-totter with that cute little guy or gal we had a crush on.

‘Smell Yo D**K’ by Riskay…brings a tear to your eye! (NSFW)

Well it’s official, the most beautiful and tender love song of the summer is without a doubt Riskay’s ‘Smell Yo Dick’. Listening to this eloquent lyric on the subject of infidelity literally brings a tear to my eye. The sheer intellectual firepower which is clearly evident here is astonishing. The melodic sense at play here would make Mozart hang his head in defeat. I have seen the future of music and her name is Riskay!

Who is the consumer alerts girl?

Seriously… any of you… phone number…e-mail address…anything?

The Bitchy Waiter: Stop taking credit card vouchers

Don’t piss off the Bitchy Waiter!!

SHORT ESSAY: The Cowboy Field

When you’re closer to the ground, you feel more. When you get older, you lose that connection to the world around you. According to this logic, dwarves and midgets probably feel more. They get to commune with the salamanders and toads, while we get to be neurotic and ambivalent.

I’ll bet little people make great lovers.

BIG penis vs SMALL penis…does size really matter?

When you think about it, other than religion, penis anxiety has probably caused more bitterness, rage, violence and tragedy than any other factor since the dawn of man. I mean, you just know that Hitler had a small penis. It’s historical fact that he only had one ball.

Gay Dogs Not Welcome Down Under

don’t know what those people are sprinkling on their Vegemite sandwiches, but they might be a bit crazy. But then again all my knowledge about Australia comes from Crocodile Dundee and Men at Work so what do I know?

Rocket man explodes in bizarre sledding accident‏

This past Saturday night a hairbrained stunt went horribly wrong for a 62 year old resident of Oakland County, Michigan. Apparently the crazy codger had a ‘sledding party’ at his home on Townview Drive which came to an abrupt ending when he attempted to fly down a hill by fashioning a strange device to his back, made up of a motorcycle muffler, a piece of pipe, gunpowder, match heads and gasoline.